October 31. It’s been almost three months since I’ve shared any part of my life. The reason? I haven’t been losing any weight. I’ve talked a little bit about this before, and you can read about it here.
Writing about my failures and lack of progress is not something that I enjoy doing. If I don’t have an uplifting message or positive news to share, then I usually don’t see the point in writing at all. It’s really more than that though. It’s that my words aren’t worthy of being read by others. I know that sounds so dramatic, but it’s the truth as I feel it. When I am overweight, I feel less. Less of a person, less of a woman, less of a daughter, less of a sister, less of a girlfriend, less of a friend. And being less, I feel that my words are unworthy of being seen.
Excuse me while I step onto my soapbox.
The media and society as a whole really perpetuate this myth of unworthiness. Like these 45 extra pounds make my opinions less valid or my thoughts less interesting (which they probably aren’t, but you get the idea). That is just not true though.
Stepping off now.
With all of my talk about weight loss and looking better, those things really aren’t the ultimate goal. Don’t get me wrong, they’re important, bt they aren’t the most important. I’ve come to realize that worthiness is really what I’m trying to achieve. Worthy of this beautiful life that I’ve been given and a body in which to enjoy it. With that being said, I need to work on being the best version of myself (including, but not limited to, weight loss) so that I can be the daughter, sister, girlfriend, and friend that my loved ones deserve.
That went much deeper than you thought it would, right? (That’s what she said – sorry, I had to)
You may be wondering how this affects you, all 3 of my loyal readers. Well, you may be getting some reading material on subjects besides weight loss, but that will definitely be included. Don’t be surprised if you learn about my addiction to television, love of all things Harry Potter, or even a new knock-knock joke that I get from my brother (yo Jakey). Basically, I’m not going to be afraid to let my nerd flag fly. Be prepared.