Non-Scale Victories 02/27/14

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Another non-scale victory for you today if you can call it that. It’s more of a shift in thinking.

As you may have noticed, I usually post a progress picture with every weigh-in that I do. When I first started this blog, there was no way in hell I was going to post pictures of myself like that. Me? Without a shirt? That’s way more than anyone should see of me. I don’t even dress like that when I’m swimming. I decided to go ahead and add them to my weigh-ins because very few people that I know were reading my blog at that time. It was like some secret journal that only a few of my closest relationships knew about (plus whatever WordPress strangers stumbled upon it). I was even fearful about those select few people knowing what I really look like, unable to cover up in jeans and baggy sweatshirts. Looking back now, I was an idiot. Like those people in my life would love me less or think less of me somehow because I have a few extra rolls? Ridiculous. I didn’t given them enough credit.

Over the past few weeks, I started posting my blog updates to my various forms of social media. I got to a point where I was ready for more than 3 people to read about my struggles. Someone might read something that I wrote and relate to it in some way. That’s the goal anyway. I also did it because I’m tired of caring. Not about my life or the people in it – I’m not a monster for heaven’s sake. Tired of caring what other people think.

I can’t wear those sweatpants to class because someone may think that I’m a bum.
I can’t wear my hair like that today because someone may think that I haven’t showered.
I’m wearing that makeup? Am I trying to look like a clown?

There came a time that I just stopped caring about these things, and I didn’t even realize it. Who cares if someone sees that I’m fat? Who cares if someone doesn’t like what I say? I certainly don’t. Not anymore. It really doesn’t matter. Don’t get me wrong, there’s a part of me that still questions myself every time I post something, especially when it shows me in a less-than-flattering way. That part just has to be ignored.

I’ll leave you with one of my favorite quotes.

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You can bet your ass that I’ll be wearing sweatpants to class today.

Happy Thursday!

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