Something has been weighing heavily on my heart lately.
Am I good enough?
A good enough student? A good enough friend? A good enough fiance/sister/daughter/niece/cousin?
Good enough compared to what exactly? To this warped view I have of those around me? If I can see the good in those around me, why is it so difficult to see all of the good in myself?
I’ve been specifically struggling with the student part over the past few weeks – a good enough student. As some of you may know, I’m currently getting my master’s in occupational therapy. Compared to my undergraduate degree, this degree feels completely different. I am very much aware that I am choosing to be there. It’s not absolutely necessary for me to survive. No one is forcing me to spend the thousands of dollars that I don’t have for this education. No one is making me dedicate two years of my life to even more education.
Since I have chosen this path, I feel like I need to be the best, and I am failing. I see my classmates and how they feel that OT is their calling – like there is nothing else in the world they could possibly do or be. I’ll be honest, I don’t feel that way. And you know what, THAT’S OK. Just because my reasons for choosing something are different, does not mean that they are somehow less.
Yet again, I’m learning the lesson that comparing myself to others will slowly kill me. Ok, maybe that’s an exaggeration. It’s an important lesson though, and I’m still learning it. I urge you to do it too. It will only make you happier.