I’m struggling. And no, I’m not one to use the phrase ‘struggle bus,’ but if I did use it, this would be the appropriate time.
There is a lot of uncertainty in my life right now, and I’m not dealing with it well. I’m one who loves lists and routine. I love knowing exactly what I’m going to be doing this week, next week, and a month from now.
A month from now, I don’t know what I’ll be doing, and it’s terrifying.
I finish my internship on July 17th, do my public presentation on July 18th, and graduate on July 19th. That’s a whole different kind of stress.
After July 19 though, my life looks like a giant dark scary abyss. Ok, so abyss might be a strong word. Scary is accurate though. I can start applying to OT school on July 18th. If I get an interview, that will be in December. Then I won’t find out until after the start of the year. If I get in, I’ll start in June 2015. I’ve had many panicked moments lately as it gets closer and closer to July. If I don’t get in, there is no back-up plan. No Plan C, D, or E. No pressure there.
Right now, I need to find some sort of work. Here’s my dilemma. I’m not sure I want to find a full-time job in the health care field because IF I get into OT school, I’ll just have to quit. I could find something that’s full-time right now but can be changed to part-time, again IF, I get into OT school.
Stress, stress, stress.
Unfortunately, my way of dealing with stress is to sleep and eat, and I’ve been doing plenty of both over the last week.
I just need to believe that everything will work out.
How do you deal with stress?