Running a 10k – What the hell have I done?

I did it. I actually did it.

I signed up for a 10k.

Just let that sink in. I’ll wait.

6.2 MILES! My jiggle has never bounced that far before.

Ducks fly around in my stomach at the mere thought of that much running. Why ducks? Well, bats are scary and butterflies don’t make me think of so much anxiety that all you want to do is throw yourself into a Buffy marathon for the next 24 to 48 hours. Because that’s totally what I’m feeling. I also had a duck for company on my first day of running. It was just the two of us in the park until he found a girlfriend and left me to hobble my way through the rest of the workout.

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Not cool, Mr. Duck.

I did actually complete the first day of Couch to 10k training, even without flying animals for company.

C210K Week 1 Day 1

IMG_2354-1This selfie brought to you by the torrential downpour that I had to run through. I wish I could say it’s sweat running down my face. Alas, it is not. Maybe next time.

No downpour for the second day, just the looming threat of one. No selfie either. Remind me to never use that word again.

C210K Week 1 Day 2

Now for the very best part – the actual race that I’ll be running!

Screenshot (20)If you can’t read that for some reason, it says the Chocoholic Frolic.

I run the risk of sounding like Chandler, but could there BE a more perfect race for me to run?!

I can’t stop saying the name in my head because it’s just that awesome. It rhymes! Not only is the name amazing, but I get goodies!

Screenshot (21)There aren’t many things I love more than free things – or rather, things that I paid for that just seem free when I get them. Who cares. It’s going to be awesome.

Linking up with KTJ and Samantha for non-scale victories!

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Non-Scale Victories 05/15/14

Hello, old friend.

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It’s been awhile since I’ve had any non-scale victories to share with you guys. Let’s be honest, it seems like it’s been awhile since I’ve shared any victories with you guys.

As you know, running and I have never been the best of friends. I even told you some time ago that I was giving it up. But…

I actually went for a walk/jog on Monday at my favorite park.

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I didn’t feel any pressure to run at a certain time, so I mostly walked. I jogged when I felt like it, and I stopped when I felt like it. IT WAS GLORIOUS. I also burned some calories!

 

IMG_2169This victory plus the return of beautiful weather has brought on what I can only describe as a mental episode. For some reason, I want to run a 10k. This summer. What the hell is wrong with me?

I haven’t decided for sure if I’m going to do it or not. The fact that I spent over an hour looking up potential races is neither here nor there. I am seriously considering it though, and I think I’ve talked mi madre into joining up too.

What do you guys think? Yay or nay?

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Non-Scale Victories 04/03/14

It’s been awhile since I’ve had a non-scale victory for you guys, so I’m excited to link up again!

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I’m slowly but surely adding exercise back into my routine – 3 days last week and 2 days (so far) this week. This is HUGE for me. Although I’ve had some success with just watching what I’m eating, adding exercise to the mix is absolutely key for me. I always feel better when I’ve been active, and it also helps me stay on track with my food. Since I’ve given up running (at least for now), it’s actually been a lot easier to get to the gym. The stationary bike is my absolute favorite, and it may sound odd but I really feel like myself when I’m doing it. I’m planning on adding the elliptical in here and there for a bigger calorie burn. Here are some of the workouts that I’ve done recently.

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Not a particularly good look for me. My hair and wind do not mix.

Not a particularly good look for me. My hair and wind do not mix.

What are your non-scale victories for the week?

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Why Do I Have to be a Runner?

This is a question that I asked myself on Monday. I was at the gym, working through a Couch to 10k program on the track. Before you freak out, no, I’m not training for a 10k. The first few weeks of the app that I use are the same as C25K, so I can have both apps in one. Kinda. Did that even make sense? Anyway, I was in the middle of one of the 5-minute jogging periods, and I kept thinking to myself “Wow, I really hate this. I can’t wait for it to be over.” This is a typical thought in my head whenever I do the fat girl jiggle, but something clicked for me this time. Why am I running?

I’m running to lose weight.

Is running the only way to lose weight? No.

Then why am I doing it?

I realized that this time around on the weight loss train (you can read about the last time here), I’ve been equating running with success. Success with weight loss, yes, but other success as well. Success with healthful eating. Success with work. Success with relationships. Success with school. If I can just run that 5k, that 10k, that half-marathon, my life and body will be perfect. Not even close. Anyone remember when I ran that 5k? I’m still waiting on that perfect life.

Do I feel better about myself when I run? Yes, but it isn’t worth it. Let me tell you why.

I always feel fantastic when I finish running, but I absolutely hate every. single. step. I dread it so much that I sometimes usually find an excuse to just not do it. I have too much homework, I need to shower, I absolutely have to finish season 6 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer on Netflix…the list goes on. The end result is that I don’t work out, and that’s exactly the opposite of what I need to do to be successful.

I’m not saying that I”ll never run again. I still have goals of completing that 10k, that half-marathon, and maybe even that full marathon someday. I am saying that I will no longer judge myself or my journey on whether or not I can run for a certain amount of time.

I’ll get back here. It is just going to take time.

IMG_4516-1Does anyone else feel this way? Let me know!

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That One Time That I Ran a 5K

Happy Monday everyone! And this time when I say happy, I do mean happy!

In case you couldn’t tell by my title, something pretty major happened over the weekend. I RAN 3.1 MILES! Ran, as in I didn’t stop AT ALL. It was awesome. Fair warning, words like awesome and amazing will be used in abundance during this post. If you aren’t a fan, too bad.

Before the race, I was trying not to puke and having a very difficult time coming up with a real smile. This grimace is about as close as I got. Photo cred to Potter!

IMG_0948[1]See those pants there? The awesome purple ones? Or so I thought when I bought them on Friday. Those bad boys are compression pants from Target, and I was so excited to wear them. I even wore them all Friday night because I loved them so much. They’re PURPLE. What else do you need? I thought I was good to go because I did the whole jog in place thing in the dressing room, and everything stayed in place. Unfortunately, I never actually ran in them before the race. Lesson learned. Don’t get me wrong, they served their primary purpose of keeping my legs warm in the 30 degree weather and 25 miles per hour wind that the great city of Muncie decided to bless me with on Saturday morning. They did not, however, like to stay put. Thank goodness for my compression shirt that was able to keep them somewhat in place. Pretty sure I flashed a couple of people behind me. Oops.

For the actual running part, I was really impressed with myself. I’m not sure if it was all of the new things to look at, but the running part flew by. At the end, I actually felt like I could have run more. Where has that person been all of my life? I finished in 34:36 with a mile average of 11:10. Considering my goal was under 40 minutes, I am ecstatic at that time. Next goal: get that mile time a bit faster. Unfortunately, no pictures were taken of me actually running or after I was done. I do, however, have a glorious video of me crossing the finish line. Video cred to Ashtyne. She’d also like to apologize for her glove at the beginning.

Overall, I am so very proud of myself. I never thought that I would be able to do something like that, but I actually did. I’ll definitely be doing another at some point.

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Shout out to Potter and Ashtyne – the best boyfriend and best friend ever that I absolutely do not deserve. They were waiting for me during the middle of the race and cheered so loudly that I could hear them through my headphones. They were the ones waiting for me at the finish line, and I absolutely could not have done it without them. Love you guys!

What I learned:

1. The first time you run in a piece of clothing should not be at the actual race.

2. Don’t be so concerned with turning off your running app on your phone at the finish. Enjoy it.

3. Every race is worth it as long as there is a t-shirt and free food at the end.

4. You can actually accomplish goals without being at your goal weight. Fortyish extra pounds ain’t no big thang.

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Non-Scale Victories 10/17/13

Thank goodness it’s Thursday. It’s also Non-Scale Victories day!

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My non-scale victory this week has to do with my attitude, specifically about running. On Tuesday, I talked about my terrible day of running that ended in total disappointment and self-loathing. It was intense for me, and I hope I was able to adequately translate some of what I was feeling to you. Writing it out really helped though. REALLY helped. Even though it has only been two days, I have felt a total change in myself. Apparently, a breakdown is exactly the motivation that I needed.

That being said, I have completed my Couch to 5K runs for the past two days, which included a 22-minute run and a 25-minute run. WITHOUT STOPPING. It was awesome. I’m pretty sure that I can walk faster than I was running, but I really could care less. I’m not trying to win any records or impress anyone. I’m just trying to do it, and that’s all that matters.

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Non-Scale Victories 10/03/13

I’m back for another edition of Non-Scale Victories!

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It is so common to focus completely on that number when it is really only one aspect of being healthy. I had a couple of non-scale victories this week!

  • I had to buy a new pair of pants to work out in! Since earlier in the summer, I’ve been wearing these pretty often.

IMG_0859[1]Awful, I know, but extremely comfortable. They’re a size extra large from Old Navy. When I was doing my 5K training on Monday, I was so uncomfortable because I had to keep pulling my pants up! It was annoying, but I wasn’t mad about it. I ventured on over to Target and bought these bad boys.

IMG_0860[1]On clearance I might add! They’re a size medium. Now, I have no idea how sizes compare at Target and Old Navy, but I’m counting that as a win!

  • My second victory also came on Monday during my run, so I guess it was a really great day! There I was, chugging along for the last couple of minutes of the run, and I get passed by a guy who was about my age. You know the type – hot, thin, but also buff. He was obviously someone who ran regularly and for long periods of time. I’ll be honest, I was embarrassed to be ‘running’ next to him. My face looked like a tomato (damn redhead complexion), my thighs were slapping together at every bounce, and I’m pretty sure I can walk faster than I was running at that point. Even with all of that, he looked over at me, gave me a thumbs up, and kept on going. For all I know, that could have been the runner’s secret club sign for ‘run faster, fatty,’ but it made me feel amazing. Here was someone who was actually acknowledging what I was trying to do and wasn’t judging me. He was actually encouraging me. It was awesome. Too bad I couldn’t get a picture. I’ m creepy, but I’m not that creepy.

Although I’m really proud of my non-scale victories this week, I’m also hoping for a victory on the scale tomorrow. We’ll both have to wait and see! Happy almost-Friday!

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Big Change

If you’ve been following my journey for any length of time, you know about my love/hate relationship with running. If not, you can read about it here, here, here, and here. (Note to self: put them all in one place!). I’ve started and stopped, started and stopped what seems like a million times.

Running has always been one of those things that seems impossible for me. For as long as I can remember, I’ve detested it. The bouncing of all my jiggly parts is just not something that I look forward to. One of my worst memories from school is of the first time I had to run a timed mile in eighth grade. I felt like I was doing my best, but it was absolutely mortifying to have not one, but two, laps left after some of my classmates were completely finished.

The only positive memory I have of running is when I was at my thinnest. You can read about that here. For some reason, I just felt like running one night (insert Forrest Gump reference here). My brother, Logan, rode his bike behind me and played music while I ran the two-mile loop around our neighborhood. When I got back to my house, I still had some left in me, so I did that damn loop again. I ran four miles without stopping. When I was done, Logan carried me into the house while playing the Rocky theme song. It was one of the proudest moments of my life.

I want that feeling again. I want that sense of accomplishment that you just can’t get from a 40-minute elliptical workout between classes. A couple of weeks ago, I actually did something about it.

5K RegistrationIf you can’t see what that is, it is my registration confirmation for my very first 5K. Don’t freak out about the Mini Marathon in the title. This girl won’t be touching that shit for quite some time. The race is in less than a month, and I am TERRIFIED.

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Speed

No, not the drug. As in running. As in making my flabby legs go faster.

Speed has never been a big concern of mine. I don’t know about you, but I’m perfectly happy if I just run a mile. I could care less how long it takes me to do it. There have been times though when I feel the pressure to run faster….like when there’s a skinny person running near me. No judgment please. You’ve done it too.

One of my goals is to run under a 10 minute mile. This may not seem particularly quick to all of you cheetahs out there, but it’s quick enough for me. Even at my healthiest, I ran between a 9 and 10 minute mile. Speed is something I’ll work on once I’ve lost more weight.

Does anyone else feel like this when they run?

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I’m an Idiot

So…the Shred challenge is not going as well as I had hoped. Jillian kicks my ass. I’m terrified of her.

Now, for the story that relates to the title of this post. For some reason, I started having the urge to try running again. As I mentioned here, I’ve had this urge before…and it didn’t work out so well the first time.

I’m still going to do the Couch to 5K program, but I’m hoping this time will be different. I’ve decided to stop by a park to run on my way home from work in the evenings. Last night was my first time doing this, and I was really excited about it! Me, excited about running? Something is definitely off.

Anyway, I start the C25K app on my phone, and everything seems to be going fine. The time seems to be passing slowly, but I didn’t think anything of it. I just kept listening to my Macklemore and Kanye and continued on my slow, but merry, way.

About halfway through the workout, I took a closer look at my phone. Instead of starting the program over, I just pressed play and started running.

STUPID, STUPID, STUPID.

I was running the program for Week 2 Day 3, which is almost into Week 3! The crazy thing is, I kept going. I finished that entire workout.

No one can understand how much of a breakthrough that is for me. The mental aspect of weight loss has always been my biggest struggle, and I actually pushed through when my legs were screaming at me to take a break. Maybe I’ll actually be able to do this.

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Can you tell how happy I am to be done?

Next up: Fourth of July and weekend recap!

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